An assortment of question marks and one light bulb image to show how asking questions gives a soltuion

Ask these 5 questions for radical self kindness

The GPS in my car sucks.

Recently, I was completely lost and I used my vehicle’s navigation system to provide me with the best route to my destination.

One road closure and 2 traffic jams later, I arrived … albeit 35 minutes late. This got me thinking about you and wondering  …

How is your internal navigation system performing?

Is your inner compass taking you where you want to go?

When it comes to blending personal with professional, many business leaders resist.

They say when something unfortunate happens in their personal life, their reaction is to shake it off and get on with their workday. A reaction you may also share.

What this actually shows is self-kindness takes a backseat to getting work done.

That may sound harsh but I’ve seen it happen often. Full disclosure, I’ve caught myself taking this same path at times. This may be true for you too.

Your natural instinct may be to push aside what’s going on for you and dive into the day.

While this is sometimes warranted …

Truly knowing when it’s time to step away is a powerful leadership skill.

An art form that must be sharpened because it invites (and welcomes) the human element into your business.

Here’s a story that shows what I mean …

Recently, a client had a personal loss in her life. It impacted her far more than she expected.

During our coaching session, I asked her what the rest of her workday looked like.  She admitted she had some meetings but had already advised her clients and team she wouldn’t be showing up at her best.

I then asked her these five powerful questions that ultimately gave her the permission she craved …


What do you need most today?
“To curl up on the couch, cry and then take a long nap. I’m so tired and drained.”

What would it feel like to give yourself permission to do that?

“It would feel like a warm embrace, softness and kindness.”

What is holding you back from giving this to yourself?

“As the leader of my business, I’m supposed to push through. I’m supposed to be there for my clients and team regardless of my personal life. I’ll be fine. Maybe it will distract me from what’s going on.”How would you advise your closest friend in this same situation?
“To take time away to grieve and truly feel your emotions. Your well being comes first. A day away won’t matter in the long run.”

What would it mean for you to follow this guidance?

“I would be a model for my team. They would know it’s okay to be human. That we support you.” What this example shows is this …

You are not a superhero, you’re a human.

Being human means connecting with what you genuinely need most in the moment.

If your internal navigation system requires a course correction, try using these five questions:

  1. What do you need most?
  2. What would it feel like to give yourself permission to do that?
  3. What is holding you back from giving this to yourself?
  4. How would you advise your closest friend in this same situation?
  5. What would it mean for you to follow this guidance?

… and then follow your path forward.

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